Samantha Edwina

So once again

It’s not About adults making decisions it’s about kids fucking for no reason and getting studs early ANd getting pregnant early…

Fuck.

Warped Survival.

I will make a video about this, so if you can’t read, just wait a few days.

For females:

1. Don’t wear your cutest shit. You will hate yourself about an hour in.

why?: because you will sweat all over the place ruining your shirt, then you’ll be forced to take it off or buy a new one, then you’ll just be that girl with her bra on that everyone is wondering wtf about. Also your shoes will be lost, stolen, or ripped, so just avoid your fav pair of Toms.

solution:Wear a tank, with some comfy pants or shorts. Please don’t go slut - ho on me now.

2. Don’t wear every bit of make up you own.

why?: you’ll sweat it off, real nasty. Plus you’ll just cause yourself some good ole fashioned acne for the next week. Make-up will also just drip down your face, stinging your eyes, and smearing on everything making you look like absolute SHIT.

solution:If you HAVE to wear make up stick to tinted chap-stick with SPF and a layer of sunblock with a little bit of blush. You won’t look like a cake -face and your shirt and the person you’re standing behind when the music starts will thank you.

3. Don’t wear clip in extensions, heels, or fake nails.

why?: they’ll all be ripped off somehow.

solution: Take them all out a few days before to get yourself used to it then pick some different shoes hun.

For males:

1. Don’t wear your tightest fucking jeans you own.

why? because you’ll sweat from your balls so much it will look like you pissed yourself, and we all know Warped is a huge breeding ground so IDK if any chicks will want any of that.

solution:wear something comfortable.

2. Don’t start fights in the pit.

why? because you’ll like a big ass hat, and everyone is seriously not about fighting at these things, so if you the lone dick decides to make a move you’re all alone and will be kicked out.

solution:be the bigger man no matter what, you paid $40+ for this shit don’t let some loser ruin it.

For everyone:

1. Don’t come broke, and don’t spend all of your money in the first 20 minutes.

why?:Warped is an all day festival starting [for me at at least] at 8am, and ending at 8pm. That is 12 hours in the sun, moneyless, hungry and winding up in a medic tent for heat exhaustion.

solution: pace yourself, know what bands you came for and as much as it pains to say this don’t give in to the bands selling their merch in the line; yes they are working their asses off to eat and get gas money, but you kind of have to think of your financial stance first. If you have all of the money in the world and there is no problem do what you want, but for most kids I know you may have gotten $50 - $100 bucks from mom and dad and most shirts are $20 and food at the pavilions start at $10. Just don’t depend on your friends for foods, they’ll hate you by the middle of the day. It’s hot and no matter how much fun you planned to have someone with freak the fuck out.

2. If you lose a plug, piercing, or need a bag.

what?/why? most people in the pit loose their plugs, piercings, or have too much shit to carry and just don’t want to go in at all.

solution:go to the PLUG YOUR HOLES TENT. I can’t tell you where they will be located just yet. BUT! they do offer some bad ass deals on plug pairs and piercing replacements. Just go on over talk to Sam, Waldy, or Satch and say I sent ya.

3. Don’t go in, find a stage and just stand there all day.

why? there are about 6 to 7 stages I believe… don’t be a stupid first timer and get stuck at a stage.

solution: Go to the 2 main stages, in front of them will be a huge blow up schedule, write that shit down, or if you’re smart phone capable download the app of the schedule and check it through out the day. Next find a map of your pavilion and don’t be stupid. There will be about 6,000 kids at each stop, so expect to not know what the fuck is going on so while it’s still empty do a quick run around to get the feel of the place. vanswarpedtour.com/m  <—- app

4. DO NOT - NOT- DRINK WATER.

why? you will no matter what you think, WILL die. You will have a heat stroke/dehydrate/be kicked out.

solution:Bring a refillable water bottle, so when you get thirsty than a mother fucker you can hit up the Kleen Kanteen. Which is a station where you can yes, get free water. Look for this:

5. Don’t fix your hair. Just don’t.

why? Because the amount of per strand of hair will exceed the maximum. AKA, you look like this: Yea she dyed her hair and yes, it’s now coming down her face.

solution:do not fear the pony tail/sweat band/ bun. For emergencies bring some extra or put one around your wrist for safe keeping. I always bring some for my younger friends…this year makes my 5th at the tour.

6. Don’t wear a hat/beanie/head smothering thing.

why? you’ll over heat and you’ll lose it.

solution:leave it at home, it’s not that much of importance that you wear it.

7. Don’t wear sandals, or soft shoes.

why? you’ll get them ripped off your feet and they be lost, and you’re going to be stepped continuously through out the day.

solution:wear converse shoes with rubber on the toes to protect your feet. I have some slender all stars that I have dubbed my show shoes and I really only wear those to shows, they are broken in comfy and if I get stepped on it doesn’t hurt due to the padding and they’re not high so I won’t roll my ankle. Or you could wear some thicker Vans you don’t love.

BASIC SHIT YOU WILL NEED CHECKLIST

1. SUNBLOCK

2. YOUR TICKET

3. A FANNY PACK OR GOOD WALLET

4. LIGHT BACK PACK YOU DON’T LOVE ANYMORE

5. MONEY FOR FOOD AND MERCH

6. HAIR TIES

7. SOME CANNED FOOD TO SKIP THE LINE

8. KNOW THE SECRET CODE FOR THE VANS TENT

9. BACK UP SOCKS

10. WATER BOTTLE

Thanks for reading though, if you are a first time Warped attender, heed my words or vanquish.

=]

it has begun.

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http://statigr.am/plugyourholes

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